Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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