I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
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All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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