I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Im part way to drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize