i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize