i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize