I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize