before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
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Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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