he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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