got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
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If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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