i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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