I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize