so let's talk penis.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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