Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
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Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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