Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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