He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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