Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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