i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I did not marry a roomba.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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