She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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