so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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