Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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