i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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