Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize