I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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