I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sober January is a disaster.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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