Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize