Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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