Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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