I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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