her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize