The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize