Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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