I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize