New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Everclear isn't food dammit
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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