I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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