My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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