i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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