a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize