Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize