Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize