my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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