Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i dont even know how to be here
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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