you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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