I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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