you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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