Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
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HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
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Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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