Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize