I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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