mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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