Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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