after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize